Ignite! begins Spring, 2021
Shut down sexually?
Transform your life from stuck to erotically free, once and for all |
Right now you live mostly in your head...
Maybe it's hard to get in touch with your body.
Maybe sexual blocks, inhibition, and shame prevent you from feeling free.
There may be physical sexual issues or past experiences that don’t allow you to be in your sexual power.
Whether it’s sexual trauma that hinder your relationships because of triggers during intimacy,
Or just not wanting to have sex with your partner,
Perhaps you feel numb in your genitals, and disconnected from your sexuality.
Yes, you already know your sexuality is an important part of your being but sex is hard!
And talking about it...ugh.
From not knowing what you want, to the pressures of being “better” at it by now, to the complication of always feeling pleasure (like, how)…
...You are stuck
Maybe it's hard to get in touch with your body.
Maybe sexual blocks, inhibition, and shame prevent you from feeling free.
There may be physical sexual issues or past experiences that don’t allow you to be in your sexual power.
Whether it’s sexual trauma that hinder your relationships because of triggers during intimacy,
Or just not wanting to have sex with your partner,
Perhaps you feel numb in your genitals, and disconnected from your sexuality.
Yes, you already know your sexuality is an important part of your being but sex is hard!
And talking about it...ugh.
From not knowing what you want, to the pressures of being “better” at it by now, to the complication of always feeling pleasure (like, how)…
...You are stuck
And the only way forward is to get unstuck.
So you can:
1. Become physically intimate with your partner again (even if it’s been years!
2. Ask for what you want, get in tune with your body, and have a life of pleasure.
⟶ Establish a connection with your body.
⟶ Deepen your level of feeling and sensation.
⟶ Update your intimacy skills.
⟶ Develop the capacity for erotic closeness.
If you struggle to feel connected with your sense of self as an erotic being, or don't feel confident talking about sex…
With the right support you can have the erotic life of your yearning.
No matter what it's been like up until this point!
A well-structured curriculum, excellent facilitation, and a welcoming community is what it takes to transform your suffering around sex and intimacy.
Because enough is enough.
You deserve the human experience of being deeply connected to your erotic self.
You deserve to feel pleasure.
And you deserve to fully express who you are.
So you can:
1. Become physically intimate with your partner again (even if it’s been years!
2. Ask for what you want, get in tune with your body, and have a life of pleasure.
⟶ Establish a connection with your body.
⟶ Deepen your level of feeling and sensation.
⟶ Update your intimacy skills.
⟶ Develop the capacity for erotic closeness.
If you struggle to feel connected with your sense of self as an erotic being, or don't feel confident talking about sex…
With the right support you can have the erotic life of your yearning.
No matter what it's been like up until this point!
A well-structured curriculum, excellent facilitation, and a welcoming community is what it takes to transform your suffering around sex and intimacy.
Because enough is enough.
You deserve the human experience of being deeply connected to your erotic self.
You deserve to feel pleasure.
And you deserve to fully express who you are.
|
If you want erotic liberation,
A clear series of proven steps will guide you through your journey. Only a program designed to work through your struggles can help you become erotically free. Introducing, a proven path to help anyone get unstuck… |
Ignite! is a 13-week program that will transform your sexuality.
Developed after years of observing sex therapy clients repeatedly struggle with similar issues,
I created a system to support you in developing your sexual wellness.
I created a system to support you in developing your sexual wellness.
|
My name is Dr. Pavini Moray.
I hold a Ph.D in somatic psychology, an Educational Therapy certificate from UC Berkeley, and a Master’s of Montessori Education from Endicott College. My background in sexuality and sex education, including trauma training and conflict resolution, allow me to foster a safe learning environment in the Ignite! program. |
|
But perhaps my truest qualification to take you down this path is that I have been where you are.
There was a time in my life that I had given up on an empowered, pleasurable sex life.
As a survivor of sexual trauma I was like, “Okay trauma, you win.”
But I couldn’t allow it to win forever.
I did a lot of work. I practiced new beliefs and patterns. I examined all the stuckness I was feeling.
And I found my way to sexual sovereignty and wholeness.
My personal experiences are such that I have infinite compassion for all of the stuck places, traumas, and shame that led you here.
Because I know what it’s like to have a less-than-ideal sex life...
I've worked with hundreds of clients who doubted they could have a satisfying experience in their sexuality.
But through practice they found a way to reclaim their erotic self...
...They found a way to create the sex life they always wanted.
And you can too!
There was a time in my life that I had given up on an empowered, pleasurable sex life.
As a survivor of sexual trauma I was like, “Okay trauma, you win.”
But I couldn’t allow it to win forever.
I did a lot of work. I practiced new beliefs and patterns. I examined all the stuckness I was feeling.
And I found my way to sexual sovereignty and wholeness.
My personal experiences are such that I have infinite compassion for all of the stuck places, traumas, and shame that led you here.
Because I know what it’s like to have a less-than-ideal sex life...
I've worked with hundreds of clients who doubted they could have a satisfying experience in their sexuality.
But through practice they found a way to reclaim their erotic self...
...They found a way to create the sex life they always wanted.
And you can too!
Ignite! is your window to erotic liberation.
It’s a 13-week group education and practice program that gives you the tools, skills, and mindsets you need to break away from being shut down sexually.
Deep feeling. Body connection. Permission for pleasure.
These are just a few of the changes that you’ll notice in yourself when you go through the Ignite! program.
Within 13 weeks, participants
✓ Feel more sensation and pleasure.
✓ Communicate with more skill and efficacy.
✓ Gain greater capacity for closeness.
✓ Feel sex and intimacy are easier for them.
Ignite! is for you if you…
✓Want to identify your limiting beliefs about sex and intimacy
|
✓Need help getting out of your head and into your body
|
✓Crave permission to want what you want and like what you like
|
✓Don’t know how to create boundaries that work for you
|
✓Are done with shame and trauma holding you back
|
✓Are willing to change destructive patterns that have plagued you
|
✓Are ready to cultivate compassion and accept your body
|
✓Want to ignite pleasure and increase your sensual energy and curiosity
|
✓Know it’s time to be sexually well physically
|
All of these life-changing practices reflect the benefits offered to you in Ignite!
Here are some of the truly transformative experiences others have enjoyed
|
"Before I signed up for Ignite! I felt really stuck."
At so many moments in my life I had thought of myself as sexually liberated--as someone who has taken steps to embrace my sexuality, heal from trauma, take sweet risks, share my heart or just have fun. After disappointment in love and in myself, I wasn’t moving forward with the vibrant, kind, adult connections I knew I could offer and receive. I was intimidated by the cost, but the structure and process felt so right that I reached out about a payment plan, and Pavini’s professionalism, openness and warmth immediately put me at ease. I can’t say that the program instantly found me a lover and a million dollars or the secret to collective liberation (well, maybe that). But it did something even better: every week I did the program, I felt lighter, more truthful, and more integrated with myself. I felt supported by Pavini and the curriculum to take the risks I was actually ready to take, not just the ones I pushed myself to take as a queer, a radical, or an anti-racist feminist. It has had a wide impact on lots of areas of my life, well beyond sex and intimacy--I became a better communicator at work and more effective and empowered in my other life goals (like writing, moving my body, eating mindfully, living more consciously in general, following through on tasks). It was also a tender and honest experience that was a balm in a difficult, harsh, painful moment in U.S. culture. Being honored, respected and challenged to live my full erotic self exactly as wounded or flawed as I was from week to week felt like the ultimate act of love and revolution. I’m so grateful to Pavini for offering this series and for the opportunity to renew my trust in myself and the power of the erotic. —Susannah, 39 |
|
"The Ignite! program changed my life by changing my relationship with myself and my sensuality!"
I hemmed and hawed about joining Ignite!
Should I or shouldn't I? Then it became, should I spend this money on myself this way or not? I had so many questions about my own sexuality and just wasn't sure if it was going to be worth it... But I tuned in and finally decided to do it.
As soon as I started the program, I immediately noticed I was beginning to change, to open up, not only to Pavini but to myself!
By the end of the program I had really learned to accept and love my body, my body sensations, and my sexual preferences. All without shame or holding back!
Pavini is a gifted somatic sex therapist who is open and has a non-judgmental approach to supporting people learning about pleasure and their own Eros. Pavini has a direct and loving way with people that embodies compassion, clarity and humor when appropriate. During our last session, P helped me to find resources that I could reach out to in my area who could support me and continue the work we did together.
Doing this work also carries a level of social justice and activism: exploring and rejoicing in our own erotic freedom is a strong remedy to patriarchy! I highly recommend the Ignite! program if you want to explore your own erotic liberation!
—Judith B., 61
"Being part of Ignite! took me from being shut down, to being much more sexually open."
"I have historically been very shy in my sexuality, and often wondered if I just didn't like sex. It has been hard for me to talk about, and even harder to ask for and know what I like, what I desire, and what I want. Over the course of working with Pavini in the Ignite program, I was able to become more aware of what my needs are in terms of trust and slowness and I have become much more confident in asking and initiating what I want. I began to discover that I am a very sexual person before the Ignite program, and doing the work with Pavini has helped me own and cherish my sexuality with agency and joy."
—Elan L., 27
"I am a survivor of sexual trauma. Sex & pleasure has been something that while I longed for it, was scary and complicated. Now I look forward to sexual exploration, with myself and in relationship."
"This workshop will transform your life in unexpected and amazingly magical ways. I feel changed on a cellular level. Pavini is a master teacher and healer and a gentle, humorous and wise guide into the really vulnerable and deeply powerful territory of Eros.
The material is beautifully balanced between knowledge and self-inquiry, experiential explorations, and body-based work. Truly a holistic approach. No part of you will be left untouched. The community that develops over the course of the work is truly beloved community.
This work is about unlearning the beliefs that shape our bodies and their responses to the world and re-membering ourselves. It is about finding freedom and pleasure and safety in your body, and among other bodies. It is about building community with the shared goal of developing full erotic aliveness. SO POWERFUL.
I know what I want and how to ask for it. I know how to receive it, and how to say no. I know it's ok to forget these things because that's just what happens sometimes. I know that I can remember. Because of this work, I feel the excitement and freedom of knowing that Eros and desire can flow freely through me and lead me where they want to go, and I can trust that and lean into it, instead of shutting it down and running the other way. I love and embrace my unique erotic expression in the world.
The more I do this, the more my life unfolds in amazing and magical ways that I never could have anticipated. Do this workshop. It will unleash life force within you that will change the shape of your life, it will become more you-shaped."
—Emily S., 46
I hemmed and hawed about joining Ignite!
Should I or shouldn't I? Then it became, should I spend this money on myself this way or not? I had so many questions about my own sexuality and just wasn't sure if it was going to be worth it... But I tuned in and finally decided to do it.
As soon as I started the program, I immediately noticed I was beginning to change, to open up, not only to Pavini but to myself!
By the end of the program I had really learned to accept and love my body, my body sensations, and my sexual preferences. All without shame or holding back!
Pavini is a gifted somatic sex therapist who is open and has a non-judgmental approach to supporting people learning about pleasure and their own Eros. Pavini has a direct and loving way with people that embodies compassion, clarity and humor when appropriate. During our last session, P helped me to find resources that I could reach out to in my area who could support me and continue the work we did together.
Doing this work also carries a level of social justice and activism: exploring and rejoicing in our own erotic freedom is a strong remedy to patriarchy! I highly recommend the Ignite! program if you want to explore your own erotic liberation!
—Judith B., 61
"Being part of Ignite! took me from being shut down, to being much more sexually open."
"I have historically been very shy in my sexuality, and often wondered if I just didn't like sex. It has been hard for me to talk about, and even harder to ask for and know what I like, what I desire, and what I want. Over the course of working with Pavini in the Ignite program, I was able to become more aware of what my needs are in terms of trust and slowness and I have become much more confident in asking and initiating what I want. I began to discover that I am a very sexual person before the Ignite program, and doing the work with Pavini has helped me own and cherish my sexuality with agency and joy."
—Elan L., 27
"I am a survivor of sexual trauma. Sex & pleasure has been something that while I longed for it, was scary and complicated. Now I look forward to sexual exploration, with myself and in relationship."
"This workshop will transform your life in unexpected and amazingly magical ways. I feel changed on a cellular level. Pavini is a master teacher and healer and a gentle, humorous and wise guide into the really vulnerable and deeply powerful territory of Eros.
The material is beautifully balanced between knowledge and self-inquiry, experiential explorations, and body-based work. Truly a holistic approach. No part of you will be left untouched. The community that develops over the course of the work is truly beloved community.
This work is about unlearning the beliefs that shape our bodies and their responses to the world and re-membering ourselves. It is about finding freedom and pleasure and safety in your body, and among other bodies. It is about building community with the shared goal of developing full erotic aliveness. SO POWERFUL.
I know what I want and how to ask for it. I know how to receive it, and how to say no. I know it's ok to forget these things because that's just what happens sometimes. I know that I can remember. Because of this work, I feel the excitement and freedom of knowing that Eros and desire can flow freely through me and lead me where they want to go, and I can trust that and lean into it, instead of shutting it down and running the other way. I love and embrace my unique erotic expression in the world.
The more I do this, the more my life unfolds in amazing and magical ways that I never could have anticipated. Do this workshop. It will unleash life force within you that will change the shape of your life, it will become more you-shaped."
—Emily S., 46
Here’s how it works
The Ignite! curriculum takes you through the 13 Elements of Erotic Liberation, through weekly, live online classes. We will meet at 11am ET every Thursday during the 13 weeks.
Each time a class meets, participants do an embodied practice for a deeper understanding of the week’s lesson.
The group then checks-in specific to the work from the previous week.
That way particular attention can be paid to you when resistance comes up. And you get compassionate support.
Through discussion, we assess where you are in relation to the content and your trajectory forward.
Next, we talk about the follow up activities for that week, and set a commitment to an exploration or a practice.
The Ignite! curriculum takes you through the 13 Elements of Erotic Liberation, through weekly, live online classes. We will meet at 11am ET every Thursday during the 13 weeks.
Each time a class meets, participants do an embodied practice for a deeper understanding of the week’s lesson.
The group then checks-in specific to the work from the previous week.
That way particular attention can be paid to you when resistance comes up. And you get compassionate support.
Through discussion, we assess where you are in relation to the content and your trajectory forward.
Next, we talk about the follow up activities for that week, and set a commitment to an exploration or a practice.
The Ignite! Program includes:
✓ 25 live somatic sex education group sessions via zoom
✓ 3 one-on-one sessions with Pavini
✓ Initial self-assessment
✓ Online progress tracking
✓ Embodiment practices
✓ Weekly recorded content
✓ Structured homework assignments
✓ A welcoming community of like-minded erotic adventurers
(This part is really important!)
✓ Private discussion forum
✓ Opportunity for further private support and integration sessions
What is the Ignite curriculum?
Transform Limiting Beliefs
Module 1:
Embodiment
Module 2:
Erotic freedom
Module 3:
Boundaries
Module 4:
Eradicating shame and releasing trauma
Module 5:
Updating intimacy skills
Module 6:
Radical body acceptance & self compassion
Module 7:
Increase sexual energy
Module 8:
Attention on Sensation
Module 9:
Physical sexual wellness
Module 10:
Talking about sex
Module 11:
Mindful erotic practice
Module 12:
Integration
Session 13:
Module 1:
- Identifying your beliefs about sex and Intimacy
- What do you really believe about sex and intimacy? Where did you learn those beliefs? Do they reflect who you currently know yourself to be? How would you even go about changing limiting beliefs? We start here to assess where things currently stand.
Embodiment
Module 2:
- Getting out of your head and into your body
- Feeling in your head or distracted during sexual experiences, and in your life in general, greatly limits the amount of pleasure and connection you can feel. This session explores practical tools for embodiment, and helps you set up daily practice activities.
Erotic freedom
Module 3:
- Permission
- Is it okay to want what you want and like what you like? Do you allow yourself to fantasize about whatever you want? Are you free to pursue any sexual attractions or interests you may have? Where are the places you disallow your pleasure or your desire? In this session, we work with tools that help you give yourself permission.
Boundaries
Module 4:
- Boundaries
- Feeling safe enough in your body and your relationships is crucial to feeling free. Having boundaries creates embodied safety. Are you solid in your "no?" What about your "yes?" Do you ever do things you may not want? Are you able to hear "no" without taking it personally? This session explores the exquisite practice of how to be an adult with healthy boundaries that are neither too permissive nor too restrictive.
Eradicating shame and releasing trauma
Module 5:
- Eradicating shame and releasing trauma
- No one grows up without some level of sexual shame and trauma; we live in a sexually violent culture that is constantly sending mixed messages. Some experience personal violation, while others experience cultural or religious sexual trauma. In this session, we explore how shame shapes your sexuality, and how trauma resides in the body long after the event. We also explore how to know transformed shame and trauma as sources of deep sexual power. To be clear, it's not that one session can complete work with shame and trauma, but rather the work here is new language and practices around how to engage in skillful, helpful and healing ways.
Updating intimacy skills
Module 6:
- Updating your intimacy skills
- The state of intimacy requires many adult-level relationship skills. Many folks simultaneously crave and fear deep intimacy with another: "See me / Don't look at me!" In this session, we assess your intimacy skill level, gain clarity around your intimacy habits, and begin to find choice in releasing harmful relating patterns.
Radical body acceptance & self compassion
Module 7:
- Creating radical body acceptance
- Where do you find the love and acceptance of yourself that will give you the capacity to truly receive love from another? How can you challenge norms of beauty and body-policing, so that you can experience pleasure just as you are, in the body you have? This session explores practices to quiet your inner critics, and bring love and compassion to your deepest self.
Increase sexual energy
Module 8:
- Increasing your sexual energy
- It may be difficult to access desire, libido or sexy feelings. You may find your arousal process is not what you want. How can you cultivate more sexual energy in your everyday life? This session explores what you may be doing to turn yourself off, and focuses on techniques for turning yourself on! Play, flirtation, fun... all the stuff that good sex is supposed to be!
Attention on Sensation
Module 9:
- Deepen your capacity for feeling
- While your capacity for suffering is often immense, your capacity for pleasure is often limited. You may be numb, or experience pain during sex. You may have a limited experience of orgasm, or be unable to reach orgasm with a partner. You may have forgotten parts of your body and not even realize. Your inability to focus during sex may make the feeling of pleasure difficult. This module teaches practices to be able to feel and sustain more pleasure in your entire body.
Physical sexual wellness
Module 10:
- Physical sexual wellness and well-regulated neurology
- Is everything working as it should? Is your nervous system supporting your sexual wellness? Do you have triggers that make your neurology go haywire? How are you caring for your erotic life in your diet and physical exercise? Are you aware of your nervous system, and your erectile tissue? This session explores optimal wellness for sexuality.
Talking about sex
Module 11:
- Getting clear in your desire and learning communication skills
- Figuring out what you want can be tough. Communicating about your needs and your desires can feel overwhelming. Learning to ask for what you want gives you a better chance of getting it. This session teaches skills to know what you want, as well as tools for effective communication about sex.
Mindful erotic practice
Module 12:
- Daily Erotic Practice & Mindful Touch
- What you give your attention to increases. By finding daily practices that support your commitment to erotic freedom, you learn to place your attention where you want it. Cultivating a state of mindful presence and awareness while you give or receive touch creates a different level of intimacy. This session presents strategies for living a mindful and erotically-integrated life.
Integration
Session 13:
- Putting it all together
- During this final session, we consciously integrate the work of the past weeks. This is a time to form commitments to your continued practices of erotic liberation, as well as assess your updated practices, beliefs and experiences of your sexuality.
Ready to talk about if Ignite! is a good fit for you?
So if you want to improve your relationship with sex, yourself, and your partners...
Ignite! is how you’ll do it.
And for those committed to finding lasting change, I am committed to getting them there.
And as a part of the curriculum, all students get 3 one-on-one sessions with me.
In these individual sessions, we delve into your unique erotic gifts and challenges.
You’ll receive in-depth coaching around your own sexual and intimacy patterns.
This personalized time complements the transformative work done within the group.
All of this is included in your enrollment fee.
But on top of the early bird pricing, payment plans are available for the full tuition! All you have to do is chat with me about your reservation, and ask about our payment plan option.
It’s my mission to get you unstuck and turned on.
In order to provide all those who so desire with deep feeling, connection, and pleasure, affordability shouldn’t be an obstacle. Payment plans are available upon request, and there are two need-based sliding scale spots held within the cohort.
But space is limited. Only 10 participants will be admitted to the program.
The intimate nature of content and my commitment to giving focused attention to each student make it so only a small number of people can get in.
Early registration is recommended if you want one of only 10 spots that have the power to “Change your life well beyond sex and intimacy”.
I completely believe that after this program you will:
...feel more sexy, be more skillful, be in touch with your desires…
...have clarity around your core operating beliefs around sex and intimacy, level up your boundaries, be able to talk about sex freely...
...feel more confident, have a supportive community also dedicated to the practice of erotic liberation around you, and all the many mores you can think of!
To take full advantage of this one-time only, early bird enrollment fee of $3997 and save your spot, click here to sign up for the waiting list
Ignite! is how you’ll do it.
And for those committed to finding lasting change, I am committed to getting them there.
And as a part of the curriculum, all students get 3 one-on-one sessions with me.
In these individual sessions, we delve into your unique erotic gifts and challenges.
You’ll receive in-depth coaching around your own sexual and intimacy patterns.
This personalized time complements the transformative work done within the group.
All of this is included in your enrollment fee.
But on top of the early bird pricing, payment plans are available for the full tuition! All you have to do is chat with me about your reservation, and ask about our payment plan option.
It’s my mission to get you unstuck and turned on.
In order to provide all those who so desire with deep feeling, connection, and pleasure, affordability shouldn’t be an obstacle. Payment plans are available upon request, and there are two need-based sliding scale spots held within the cohort.
But space is limited. Only 10 participants will be admitted to the program.
The intimate nature of content and my commitment to giving focused attention to each student make it so only a small number of people can get in.
Early registration is recommended if you want one of only 10 spots that have the power to “Change your life well beyond sex and intimacy”.
I completely believe that after this program you will:
...feel more sexy, be more skillful, be in touch with your desires…
...have clarity around your core operating beliefs around sex and intimacy, level up your boundaries, be able to talk about sex freely...
...feel more confident, have a supportive community also dedicated to the practice of erotic liberation around you, and all the many mores you can think of!
To take full advantage of this one-time only, early bird enrollment fee of $3997 and save your spot, click here to sign up for the waiting list
But it’s important that you know
There are no refunds once you have signed up for the Ignite! program.
This program is designed ONLY for folks who are ready to make a serious change in their erotic lives, and the financial commitment is an important component of sticking with yourself.
The pricing for Ignite ensures that you will take this commitment to yourself seriously.
So if you’re considering this program you must seriously ask…
What is it worth to have a sexuality I feel free in?
To be in a good sexual relationship with my partner?
To have sex be easy?
To reserve your spot sign up now for the waiting list
“There is no other program like it!”
The access to skillful, well-structured, and consistent care means your sexuality will be positively impacted by this experience…
Forever.
If you are not ready to make this commitment to yourself then this course won't be a good fit for you.
But if you are tired of being stuck, shut down, and out of touch with your sexuality, this is the program for you.
There are no refunds once you have signed up for the Ignite! program.
This program is designed ONLY for folks who are ready to make a serious change in their erotic lives, and the financial commitment is an important component of sticking with yourself.
The pricing for Ignite ensures that you will take this commitment to yourself seriously.
So if you’re considering this program you must seriously ask…
What is it worth to have a sexuality I feel free in?
To be in a good sexual relationship with my partner?
To have sex be easy?
To reserve your spot sign up now for the waiting list
“There is no other program like it!”
The access to skillful, well-structured, and consistent care means your sexuality will be positively impacted by this experience…
Forever.
If you are not ready to make this commitment to yourself then this course won't be a good fit for you.
But if you are tired of being stuck, shut down, and out of touch with your sexuality, this is the program for you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Who is the Ignite! program designed for?
The Ignite! program is designed for folks who long for the full expression of the erotic selves they feel they are, but have not yet embodied. No matter where you are in your erotic wellness journey, from just starting out to seasoned practitioner, the teachings and practices are adaptable.
AND, this program is really designed for folks who are ready to level up in terms of their freedom, self-expression and shamelessness!
That said, the work of transformation is yours to do. I cannot do it for you, I can just create a beautiful container for you to work within. You need to show up coach-able, ready to try new practices and explore new mindsets about sex and intimacy.
The Ignite! program is NOT a good fit for you if you are in a tumultuous time of life; moving, new job, new baby, etc. To receive all the benefit, you need to be able to dedicate time and energy to the practices. Also, because this is a group program, you need to play well with others, and have the capacity for kindness for other people's stuck places.
AND, this program is really designed for folks who are ready to level up in terms of their freedom, self-expression and shamelessness!
That said, the work of transformation is yours to do. I cannot do it for you, I can just create a beautiful container for you to work within. You need to show up coach-able, ready to try new practices and explore new mindsets about sex and intimacy.
The Ignite! program is NOT a good fit for you if you are in a tumultuous time of life; moving, new job, new baby, etc. To receive all the benefit, you need to be able to dedicate time and energy to the practices. Also, because this is a group program, you need to play well with others, and have the capacity for kindness for other people's stuck places.
Who will be in the group?
The group will be mixed age, mixed gender, mixed sexual orientation. It's my best guess that most folks will be between 35-65, and many will be some flavor of queer. The group is explicitly welcoming to folks who are gender-blessed, queer, older, fat, disabled, single, POC, or in any way marginalized. No bullshit will be tolerated. If you aren't cool being in a group with any of these, please don't apply.
This iteration of the group is limited to 10 participants.
This iteration of the group is limited to 10 participants.
Will there be any nudity?
No.
What kind of environment do you create?
I pay a lot of attention to the careful creation of containers, in which bodies can feel safe enough and relax enough to speak openly about hard-to-voice topics. A couple of things about this container: all sessions are requisite attendance. If you need to miss a session, you will need to schedule a one-on-one paid session with me to cover the missed material. Sessions will not be recorded. These are not arbitrary rules, but intentioned to create a strong container so that we can all go deep.
Personally, I am non-judgmental, super accepting, and kind. I expect all the participants in this group to be so as well. It is a risk for everyone to show up vulnerably, and trust the group to hold them, so we will do our very best to make sure you are well met. If anything comes up that is distressing to someone in the group, ever effort will be made to ensure they feel safe and welcome, even if at a growth edge. I do distinguish between safety and comfort, and know that most of our profound transformative learning comes at that intersection.
Because I have made the journey to erotic wellness and freedom myself, I can confidently guide you in this realm.
Personally, I am non-judgmental, super accepting, and kind. I expect all the participants in this group to be so as well. It is a risk for everyone to show up vulnerably, and trust the group to hold them, so we will do our very best to make sure you are well met. If anything comes up that is distressing to someone in the group, ever effort will be made to ensure they feel safe and welcome, even if at a growth edge. I do distinguish between safety and comfort, and know that most of our profound transformative learning comes at that intersection.
Because I have made the journey to erotic wellness and freedom myself, I can confidently guide you in this realm.
What benefits might I anticipate?
Feeling more sexy, being more skillful, feeling more in touch with your desire, getting clarity around your core operating beliefs around sex and intimacy, leveling up your boundaries, being able to talk about sex more freely, feeling more confident, and having friends/classmates who are dedicated to the same practice of erotic liberation, community!
I'm nervous about being in a group focusing on sex! How can I feel safe and comfortable?
Everyone in the group will initially feel a bit of trepidation. This is normal and to be expected. Talking about sex in a group is breaking a cultural taboo. It's my job as the facilitator to create a container in which your body DOES feel safe, or at least safe enough, to engage in these conversations. You are your own authority. You will never be pushed to share more than you feel comfortable sharing, and "pass" is always an acceptable option.
That said, it's been my experience as the facilitator of numerous groups that there is a tremendous potential for healing within the context of supportive community. Our community agreements will help create a space that is welcoming and inclusive, encourage appropriate risk taking, and strives to make a space where nervous systems feel at ease!
Being witnessed and held with love by others like you who are doing similar work is invaluable.
I'm nervous about being in a group focusing on sex! How can I feel safe and comfortable?
Everyone in the group will initially feel a bit of trepidation. This is normal and to be expected. Talking about sex in a group is breaking a cultural taboo. It's my job as the facilitator to create a container in which your body DOES feel safe, or at least safe enough, to engage in these conversations. You are your own authority. You will never be pushed to share more than you feel comfortable sharing, and "pass" is always an acceptable option.
That said, it's been my experience as the facilitator of numerous groups that there is a tremendous potential for healing within the context of supportive community. Our community agreements will help create a space that is welcoming and inclusive, encourage appropriate risk taking, and strives to make a space where nervous systems feel at ease!
Being witnessed and held with love by others like you who are doing similar work is invaluable.
I’m going to be on vacation during the course, how will that work?
I’ve designed this course to integrate flexibly into busy lives and schedules. If you will be on vacation, you need to schedule a paid one-on-one session with me to make up the missed session. Sessions will not be recorded, for the sake of a private and intimate container.
I’m not familiar with the online environment. Do I need technical skills to participate?
Actually, it’s really simple to engage in an online course! All you need is an internet connection and a computer, or a tablet (preferably with a keyboard, but that’s up to you). I also recommend that you have access to a phone for calling in. The technology we will use works best with a dedicated line instead of WiFi.
How can I be sure this material will be relevant for me?
These are foundational skills, and no matter where you are in your erotic journey, your understandings and practices can always deepen. I've found that when I allow myself to be in beginner's mind, even when I have already achieved a level of mastery, that deeper layers of meaning often unfold. And, do take a look at the curriculum as laid out above, and see if there are areas that light up for you.
I want to be very clear: this material WILL challenge you. It will help you grow out of the sexual stuckness you are currently in, and it is deep work at a core level.
I want to be very clear: this material WILL challenge you. It will help you grow out of the sexual stuckness you are currently in, and it is deep work at a core level.
How much time can I expect this course to take?
I’ve worked to create a manageable course. Each week, we’ll be in a video course session for about an hour and a half. These sessions are requisite.
I will suggest additional practice and reflection work for you to engage. Depending on you, these practices could take you an hour, or several hours—relative to the time you have and the way you work. I expect this course could take 2-3 hours a week—or as much as you’d like to give it. Of course, the more you put in, the more you’ll get out.
I will suggest additional practice and reflection work for you to engage. Depending on you, these practices could take you an hour, or several hours—relative to the time you have and the way you work. I expect this course could take 2-3 hours a week—or as much as you’d like to give it. Of course, the more you put in, the more you’ll get out.
I’m in Indiana/Australia/Buenos Aires: can I participate?
Yes! All you need is an internet connection and a webcam!
What if I have to miss a session?
Because I stand for your results, it is crucial that you participate fully in each and every session. In fact, if you miss more than one session, you will be removed from the program, without refund. Yes, I'm that serious about it.
Because emergencies happen, if you do miss a session you need to do two things: First, let me know as soon as possible, preferably before the class, that you cannot attend. Second, schedule an individual paid session with me to make up the material from that class. Classes will NOT be recorded, so that participants can truly relax.
Because emergencies happen, if you do miss a session you need to do two things: First, let me know as soon as possible, preferably before the class, that you cannot attend. Second, schedule an individual paid session with me to make up the material from that class. Classes will NOT be recorded, so that participants can truly relax.
this class time is late/early/not a great time for me.
Only sign up if you can completely commit to the class schedule. This is a testament as well to your commitment to your erotic self.
What's your refund policy?
There are no refunds once you have signed up for the program. This program is designed for folks who are ready to make a serious change in their erotic lives, and the financial commitment is an important component of sticking with yourself.
How will I know if it’s working?
At the beginning of the program, each participant will complete a self-assessment of the current state of your erotic life. If you do the practices and exercises, you should see incremental improvement: greater capacity for closeness, a stronger connection with your own sexuality, clearer boundaries and more access to your own desire.
It does mean that some of the responsibility for success is in how you engage with the material. It's not going to work if you just sign up and think you don't actually have to do anything, engage with your own resistance, practice new things. But if you do, I believe you will begin to notice Eros more online in your life.
Additionally, you will be tracking your weekly progress in the program using an online-tracking system, where you reflect before each class on the work of the previous week.
It does mean that some of the responsibility for success is in how you engage with the material. It's not going to work if you just sign up and think you don't actually have to do anything, engage with your own resistance, practice new things. But if you do, I believe you will begin to notice Eros more online in your life.
Additionally, you will be tracking your weekly progress in the program using an online-tracking system, where you reflect before each class on the work of the previous week.
What is the long-term benefit of this training?
You will tell me what they are for you once you complete the course. And...other participants in the Ignite! one-on-one program have reported feeling much more connected with their desire, having the skills to navigate intimacy in a new way that feels amazing, being more in their bodies, being able to be close and flirt, getting laid, moving through hard things from the past, learning to speak their desires, giving themselves permission for lust, and many other wonderful results.
I can't say for certain what your results will be as they are slightly subjective for each participant, but if you put in the time and energy, I know you will experience powerful, transformative results.
I can't say for certain what your results will be as they are slightly subjective for each participant, but if you put in the time and energy, I know you will experience powerful, transformative results.
I’ve tried other programs, why will this be different for me?
Community support makes all the difference. If it's just you, sitting at your computer watching videos or reading books, when you hit a block if you are like the rest of us, you may give up. Being in compassionate, vulnerable community with others doing similar work keeps you engaged, inspired, and showing up.
This is not a canned approach, but is very much responsive to the needs of the group and the people in it. You can get more of what you need here, through the materials, the connections, relaxing into a well-held container.
This is not a canned approach, but is very much responsive to the needs of the group and the people in it. You can get more of what you need here, through the materials, the connections, relaxing into a well-held container.
What if I want to work with you one-on-one?
Fantastic! The course will be a great introduction to my guiding principles and to how I hold space as a facilitator. If you like, you will be able to continue working with me after the Ignite! program completes.