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Ignite!The Group Program13 weeks
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Where you are now:
Perhaps you are someone who lives mostly in your head, or have sexual blocks, inhibition or shame that prevent you from feeling free. Maybe you have physical sexual issues, or previous experiences prevent you from feeling in your sexual power. Or maybe you feel numb and disconnected from your sexuality, even though you know it is there and is a really important part of you.
If you struggle to feel connected with your sense of yourself as an erotic being, feel disconnected from your body, or don't feel as confident talking about sex or actually being intimate, I invite you to consider participating in the Ignite! program.
With the support of a well-structured curriculum and exquisite container, excellent facilitation and a welcoming community, you can transform the whatever level of suffering you are experiencing around sex and intimacy. You too deserve the human experience of being deeply connected to your erotic self and feeling permission to fully express that part of you.
Ignite! is a proven path that can support you in moving from feeling sexually stuck, to being erotically free.
Where you can be:
Deep feeling. Body connection. Permission for pleasure.
"I am grateful to unpack sexual confusion. I am learning to allow deeper feeling into my life. When I started Ignite! I felt shut down sexually. I couldn't connect with my body. During the program, I remembered the deep joy I can experience. I feel more confident and free when I have sex, either with myself or my partner. My pleasure matters."
According to other students who have completed the program, Ignite! delivers more embodiment, freedom and pleasure, and it does so fast.
Former students say things like "It's easier for me to talk about sex now" and "I don't feel the overwhelming shame about my body or my desires anymore." It's not just that individual aspects of sexuality become easier, although those are important. The true and lasting benefit of Ignite! is the sustained change in your erotic perception of yourself. You will feel freer, more liberated, in many areas of your life. In fact, this experience will positively impact every aspect of your sexual self. That's no small promise!
What becomes possible for you if you had access to your true erotic self? What other areas of your life, your creativity, your work, your relationships, would unfold and blossom once you start walking in your erotic power?
Former students say things like "It's easier for me to talk about sex now" and "I don't feel the overwhelming shame about my body or my desires anymore." It's not just that individual aspects of sexuality become easier, although those are important. The true and lasting benefit of Ignite! is the sustained change in your erotic perception of yourself. You will feel freer, more liberated, in many areas of your life. In fact, this experience will positively impact every aspect of your sexual self. That's no small promise!
What becomes possible for you if you had access to your true erotic self? What other areas of your life, your creativity, your work, your relationships, would unfold and blossom once you start walking in your erotic power?
The Importance of an Experienced Guide
It's not hype, though I know when you're standing at the gate, hungry cold and tired, passing through can seem like it will never happen for you.
I have been where you are. There was a time in my life that I had given up on an empowered, beautiful, pleasurable and ecstatic sex life. Okay trauma, you win. But then I did a lot of work, practiced a lot of new beliefs and patterns, examined all the stuckness, and found a way to sexual sovereignty and wholeness. This is my true qualification to walk this path with you.
Since then, I've worked with hundreds of clients, who, like you, doubted that it was possible for them to have a vastly different experience of their sexuality.
However, I know differently. Every day, I watch my determined clients show up again and again, demanding to feel the flow of life, of the erotic, inside their skin. And I've seen, over and over, the success they have.
I've worked with clients who haven't had sex with their partner in over a decade, who, after our work together, become available for physical intimacy with their partners again.
I've worked with clients who were sexually averse, who couldn't feel their own genitals, who had no idea how to ask for what they wanted, who had never had a conversation about sex in their lives!!
All of these clients have been able to establish connection with their bodies, deepen their level of feeling, update their intimacy skills, and develop the capacity for erotic closeness. If I can do it, and if they can do it, then so can you.
No matter what it's been like up until this point, with the right support you too can have the erotic life and liberation of your yearning.
I have been where you are. There was a time in my life that I had given up on an empowered, beautiful, pleasurable and ecstatic sex life. Okay trauma, you win. But then I did a lot of work, practiced a lot of new beliefs and patterns, examined all the stuckness, and found a way to sexual sovereignty and wholeness. This is my true qualification to walk this path with you.
Since then, I've worked with hundreds of clients, who, like you, doubted that it was possible for them to have a vastly different experience of their sexuality.
However, I know differently. Every day, I watch my determined clients show up again and again, demanding to feel the flow of life, of the erotic, inside their skin. And I've seen, over and over, the success they have.
I've worked with clients who haven't had sex with their partner in over a decade, who, after our work together, become available for physical intimacy with their partners again.
I've worked with clients who were sexually averse, who couldn't feel their own genitals, who had no idea how to ask for what they wanted, who had never had a conversation about sex in their lives!!
All of these clients have been able to establish connection with their bodies, deepen their level of feeling, update their intimacy skills, and develop the capacity for erotic closeness. If I can do it, and if they can do it, then so can you.
No matter what it's been like up until this point, with the right support you too can have the erotic life and liberation of your yearning.
What is it?
The Ignite Program is for you if you want erotic liberation, and you would prefer to move through a clearly articulated series of sessions that have proven effective for others on a similar quest for sexual freedom.
This 13-week Ignite Group Program is a structured and methodical exploration of the tools, skills, practices and mindsets that support the full expression of your erotic self.
I developed Ignite! after years of observing my sex therapy clients repeatedly struggle with similar issues. I wanted a replicable, financially-accessible system to support the development of your sexual wellness.
The curriculum progresses sequentially through the 13 Elements of Erotic Liberation, including topics like "Beliefs about intimacy" and "Permission" and "Setting boundaries."
Follow-up materials and assignments allow you to consciously practice new skills that support the erotic self you long to be.
How does the Ignite Program work?
Each week for 13 weeks we meet via zoom for a teaching session. Teaching sessions are required
attendance for every participant. At every session, we delve into a new element of erotic liberation. Before our session, you receive via email a short list of questions to consider, to assess where you are in relation to that element of Eros, and to prepare for our upcoming session.
Each time we meet, we begin with an embodied practice relating to that week's content.
We then move to a check-in specific to the work of the previous week. I hold you accountable to your commitment to the work. We pay particular attention when resistance comes up, and deal with it compassionately.
Each week there is new information presented. After the check-in, we then move into the content for that week. Through small group discussion, we assess where you are in relation to the content at present, and where you are moving towards. Next, we talk about the follow up activities for that week, and set a commitment to an exploration or a practice.
During the week between class sessions, you complete a set of specific follow-up activities, worksheets and practices that support your exploration of that topic, and the integration of your learning.
Additionally, you have three one-on-one sessions with me over the course of the 13 weeks. In these individual sessions, we delve into your unique erotic gifts and challenges, and you receive depth coaching around your own sexual and intimacy patterns. This personalized time compliments your transformative work within the group container.
What others are saying
Before I signed up for Ignite! I felt stuck. At so many moments in my life I had thought of myself as sexually liberated--as someone who has taken steps to embrace my sexuality, heal from trauma, take sweet risks, share my heart or just have fun. But after disappointment in love and in myself, I wasn’t moving forward with the vibrant, kind, adult connections I knew I could offer and receive. I was intimidated by the cost but the structure and process felt so right that I reached out about a payment plan, and Pavini’s professionalism, openness and warmth immediately put me at ease.
It turned out the timing was just right. I can’t say that the program instantly found me a lover and a million dollars or the secret to collective liberation (well, maybe that). But it did something even better: every week I did the program, I felt lighter, more truthful, and more integrated with myself. I felt supported by Pavini and the curriculum to take the risks I was actually ready to take, not just the ones I pushed myself to take as a queer, a radical, or an anti-racist feminist.
It had a wide impact on lots of areas of my life, well beyond sex and intimacy--I became a better communicator at work and more effective and empowered in my other life goals (like writing, moving my body, eating mindfully, living more consciously in general, following through on tasks). It was also a tender and honest experience that was a balm in a difficult, harsh, painful moment in U.S. culture. Being honored, respected and challenged to live my full erotic self exactly as wounded or flawed as I was from week to week felt like the ultimate act of love and revolution.
I’m so grateful to Pavini for offering this series and for the opportunity to renew my trust in myself and the power of the erotic.
Susannah, 41
What is the Ignite curriculum?
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Session 1:
Identifying your beliefs about sex and Intimacy What do you really believe about sex and intimacy? Where did you learn those beliefs? Do they reflect who you currently know yourself to be? How would you even go about changing limiting beliefs? We start here to assess where things currently stand. |
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Session 2:
Getting out of your head and into your body Feeling in your head or distracted during sexual experiences, and in your life in general, greatly limits the amount of pleasure and connection you can feel. This session explores practical tools for embodiment, and helps you set up daily practice activities. |
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Session 3:
Permission Is it okay to want what you want and like what you like? Do you allow yourself to fantasize about whatever you want? Are you free to pursue any sexual attractions or interests you may have? Where are the places you disallow your pleasure or your desire? In this session, we work with tools that help you give yourself permission. |
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Session 4:
Boundaries Feeling safe enough in your body and your relationships is crucial to feeling free. Having boundaries creates embodied safety. Are you solid in your "no?" What about your "yes?" Do you ever do things you may not want? Are you able to hear "no" without taking it personally? This session explores the exquisite practice of how to be an adult with healthy boundaries that are neither too permissive nor too restrictive. |
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Session 5:
Eradicating shame and releasing trauma No one grows up without some level of sexual shame and trauma; we live in a sexually violent culture that is constantly sending mixed messages. Some experience personal violation, while others experience cultural or religious sexual trauma. In this session, we explore how shame shapes your sexuality, and how trauma resides in the body long after the event. We also explore how to know transformed shame and trauma as sources of deep sexual power. To be clear, it's not that one session can complete work with shame and trauma, but rather the work here is new language and practices around how to engage in skillful, helpful and healing ways. |
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Session 6:
Updating your intimacy skills The state of intimacy requires many adult-level relationship skills. Many folks simultaneously crave and fear deep intimacy with another: "See me / Don't look at me!" In this session, we assess your intimacy skill level, gain clarity around your intimacy habits, and begin to find choice in releasing harmful relating patterns. |
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Session 7:
Creating radical body acceptance Where do you find the love and acceptance of yourself that will give you the capacity to truly receive love from another? How can you challenge norms of beauty and body-policing, so that you can experience pleasure just as you are, in the body you have? This session explores practices to quiet your inner critics, and bring love and compassion to your deepest self. |
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Session 8:
Increasing your sexual energy It may be difficult to access desire, libido or sexy feelings. You may find your arousal process is not what you want. How can you cultivate more sexual energy in your everyday life? This session explores what you may be doing to turn yourself off, and focuses on techniques for turning yourself on! |
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Session 9:
Deepen your capacity for feeling While your capacity for suffering is often immense, your capacity for pleasure is often limited. You may be numb, or experience pain during sex. You may have a limited experience of orgasm, or be unable to reach orgasm with a partner. You may have forgotten parts of your body and not even realize. Your inability to focus during sex may make the feeling of pleasure difficult. This session teaches practices to be able to feel and sustain more pleasure in your entire body. |
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Session 10:
Physical sexual wellness and well-regulated neurology Is everything working as it should? Is your nervous system supporting your sexual wellness? Do you have triggers that make your neurology go haywire? How are you caring for your erotic life in your diet and physical exercise? Are you aware of your nervous system, and your erectile tissue? This session explores optimal wellness for sexuality. |
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Session 11:
Getting clear in your desire and learning communication skills Figuring out what you want can be tough. Communicating about your needs and your desires can feel overwhelming. Learning to ask for what you want gives you a better chance of getting it. This session teaches skills to know what you want, as well as tools for effective communication about sex. |
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Session 12:
Daily Erotic Practice & Mindful Touch What you give your attention to increases. By finding daily practices that support your commitment to erotic freedom, you learn to place your attention where you want it. Cultivating a state of mindful presence and awareness while you give or receive touch creates a different level of intimacy. This session presents strategies for living a mindful and erotically-integrated life. |
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Session 13:
Integration During this final session, we consciously integrate the work of the past weeks. This is a time to form commitments to your continued practices of erotic liberation, as well as assess your updated practices, beliefs and experiences of your sexuality. |
The Ignite Program includes:
- 13 live somatic sex education group sessions via zoom.
- 3 individual sessions with me.
- Embodiment practices.
- Worksheets and resources.
- Structured homework assignments.
- A community of like-minded erotic adventurers.
- Opportunity for private support and integration sessions at a discounted rate.
Next Step
Making the decision to participate in Ignite! is a serious commitment to your erotic freedom. Only 12 participants will be admitted to the program, and full participation is very important to get the promised benefits.
The first step in participating is to schedule a personal chat to determine if the Ignite! group program is a good fit for you.
The pricing for Ignite ensures that you will take this commitment to yourself seriously, as I take a strong stand for you living the erotic life you long for. Seriously, what would it be worth to you to have a sexuality you feel free in? To be in good sexual relationship with your partner? To have sex be easy? And magical?
There is not another program like Ignite. The access to skillful, well-structured and consistent support and community care means that your sexuality will be deeply positively impacted by this experience, forever.
If you are ready to make a significant change in your erotic self, it's time for us to talk.
The first step in participating is to schedule a personal chat to determine if the Ignite! group program is a good fit for you.
The pricing for Ignite ensures that you will take this commitment to yourself seriously, as I take a strong stand for you living the erotic life you long for. Seriously, what would it be worth to you to have a sexuality you feel free in? To be in good sexual relationship with your partner? To have sex be easy? And magical?
There is not another program like Ignite. The access to skillful, well-structured and consistent support and community care means that your sexuality will be deeply positively impacted by this experience, forever.
If you are ready to make a significant change in your erotic self, it's time for us to talk.
Frequently Asked Questions
Who is the Ignite! program designed for?
The Ignite! program is designed for folks who long for the full expression of the erotic selves they feel they are, but have not yet embodied. No matter where you are in your erotic wellness journey, from just starting out to seasoned practitioner, the teachings and practices are adaptable.
That said, the work of transformation is yours to do. I cannot do it for you, I can just create a beautiful container for you to work within. You need to show up coach-able, ready to try new practices and explore new mindsets about sex and intimacy.
The Ignite! program is NOT a good fit for you if you are in a tumultuous time of life; moving, new job, new baby, etc. To receive all the benefit, you need to be able to dedicate time and energy to the practices. Also, because this is a group program, you need to play well with others, and have the capacity for kindness for other people's stuck places.
Who will be in the group?
The group will be mixed age, mixed gender, mixed sexual orientation. It's my best guess that most folks will be between 35-65, and many will be some flavor of queer. The group is explicitly welcoming to folks who are gender-blessed, queer, older, fat, disabled, single, POC, or in any way marginalized. No bullshit will be tolerated. If you aren't cool being in a group with any of these, please don't apply.
This iteration of the group is limited to 12 participants.
Will there be any nudity?
No.
What kind of environment do you create?
I pay a lot of attention to the careful creation of containers, in which bodies can feel safe enough and relax enough to speak openly about hard-to-voice topics. A couple of things about this container: all sessions are requisite attendance. If you need to miss a session, you will need to schedule a one-on-one paid session with me to cover the missed material. Sessions will not be recorded. These are not arbitrary rules, but intentioned to create a strong container so that we can all go deep.
Personally, I am non-judgmental, super accepting, and kind. I expect all the participants in this group to be so as well. It is a risk for everyone to show up vulnerably, and trust the group to hold them, so we will do our very best to make sure you are well met. If anything comes up that is distressing to someone in the group, ever effort will be made to ensure they feel safe and welcome, even if at a growth edge. I do distinguish between safety and comfort, and know that most of our profound transformative learning comes at that intersection.
Because I have made the journey to erotic wellness and freedom myself, I can confidently guide you in this realm.
What benefits might I anticipate?
Feeling more sexy, being more skillful, feeling more in touch with your desire, getting clarity around your core operating beliefs around sex and intimacy, leveling up your boundaries, being able to talk about sex more freely, feeling more confident, and having friends/classmates who are dedicated to the same practice of erotic liberation, community!
I'm nervous about being in a group focusing on sex! How can I feel safe and comfortable?
Everyone in the group will initially feel a bit of trepidation. This is normal and to be expected. Talking about sex in a group is breaking a cultural taboo. It's my job as the facilitator to create a container in which your body DOES feel safe, or at least safe enough, to engage in these conversations. You are your own authority. You will never be pushed to share more than you feel comfortable sharing, and "pass" is always an acceptable option.
That said, it's been my experience as the facilitator of numerous groups that there is a tremendous potential for healing within the context of supportive community. Our community agreements will help create a space that is welcoming and inclusive, encourage appropriate risk taking, and strives to make a space where nervous systems feel at ease!
I’m going to be on vacation during the course, how will that work?
I’ve designed this course to integrate flexibly into busy lives and schedules. If you will be on vacation, you need to schedule a paid one-on-one session with me to make up the missed session. Sessions will not be recorded, for the sake of a private and intimate container.
I’m not familiar with the online environment. Do I need technical skills to participate?
Actually, it’s really simple to engage in an online course! All you need is an internet connection and a computer, or a tablet (preferably with a keyboard, but that’s up to you). I also recommend that you have access to a phone for calling in. The technology we will use works best with a dedicated line instead of WiFi.
How can I be sure this material will be relevant for me?
These are foundational skills, and no matter where you are in your erotic journey, your understandings and practices can always deepen. I've found that when I allow myself to be in beginner's mind, even when I have already achieved a level of mastery, that deeper layers of meaning often unfold. And, do take a look at the curriculum as laid out above, and see if there are areas that light up for you.
I want to be very clear: this material WILL challenge you. It will help you grow out of the sexual stuckness you are currently in, and it is deep work at a core level.
How much time can I expect this course to take?
I’ve worked to create a manageable course. Each week, we’ll be in a video course session for about an hour and a half. These sessions are requisite.
I will suggest additional practice and reflection work for you to engage. Depending on you, these practices could take you an hour, or several hours—relative to the time you have and the way you work. I expect this course could take 2-3 hours a week—or as much as you’d like to give it. Of course, the more you put in, the more you’ll get out.
I’m in Indiana/Australia/Buenos Aires: can I participate?
Yes! All you need is an internet connection and a webcam!
What if I have to miss a session?
Because I stand for your results, it is crucial that you participate fully in each and every session. In fact, if you miss more than one session, you will be removed from the program, without refund. Yes, I'm that serious about it. Because emergencies happen, if you do miss a session you need to do two things: First, let me know as soon as possible, preferably before the class, that you cannot attend. Second, schedule an individual paid session with me to make up the material from that class. Classes will NOT be recorded, so that participants can truly relax.
Wow, that class time sure is late/early/not a great time for me.
Only sign up if you can completely commit to the class schedule. This is a testament as well to your commitment to your erotic self.
What's your refund policy?
There are no refunds once you have signed up for the program. This program is designed for folks who are ready to make a serious change in their erotic lives, and the financial commitment is an important component of sticking with yourself.
How will I know if it’s working?
At the beginning of the program, each participant will complete a self-assessment of the current state of your erotic life. If you do the practices and exercises, you should see incremental improvement: greater capacity for closeness, a stronger connection with your own sexuality, clearer boundaries and more access to your own desire.
It does mean that some of the responsibility for success is in how you engage with the material. It's not going to work if you just sign up and think you don't actually have to do anything, engage with your own resistance, practice new things. But if you do, I believe you will begin to notice Eros more online in your life.
Additionally, you will be tracking your weekly progress in the program using an online-tracking system, where you reflect before each class on the work of the previous week.
What is the long-term benefit of this training?
You will tell me what they are for you once you complete the course. And...other participants in the Ignite! one-on-one program have reported feeling much more connected with their desire, having the skills to navigate intimacy in a new way that feels amazing, being more in their bodies, being able to be close and flirt, getting laid, moving through hard things from the past, learning to speak their desires, giving themselves permission for lust, and many other wonderful results.
I can't say for certain what your results will be as they are slightly subjective for each participant, but if you put in the time and energy, I know you will experience powerful, transformative results.
I’ve tried other programs, why will this be different for me?
Community support makes all the difference. If it's just you, sitting at your computer watching videos or reading books, when you hit a block if you are like the rest of us, you may give up. Being in compassionate, vulnerable community with others doing similar work keeps you engaged, inspired, and showing up.
This is not a canned approach, but is very much responsive to the needs of the group and the people in it. You can get more of what you need here, through the materials, the connections, relaxing into a well-held container.
What if I want to work with you one-on-one?
Fantastic! The course will be a great introduction to my guiding principles and to how I hold space as a facilitator. If you like, you will be able to continue working with me after the Ignite! container completes.
Everyone in the group will initially feel a bit of trepidation. This is normal and to be expected. Talking about sex in a group is breaking a cultural taboo. It's my job as the facilitator to create a container in which your body DOES feel safe, or at least safe enough, to engage in these conversations. You are your own authority. You will never be pushed to share more than you feel comfortable sharing, and "pass" is always an acceptable option.
That said, it's been my experience as the facilitator of numerous groups that there is a tremendous potential for healing within the context of supportive community. Our community agreements will help create a space that is welcoming and inclusive, encourage appropriate risk taking, and strives to make a space where nervous systems feel at ease!
I’m going to be on vacation during the course, how will that work?
I’ve designed this course to integrate flexibly into busy lives and schedules. If you will be on vacation, you need to schedule a paid one-on-one session with me to make up the missed session. Sessions will not be recorded, for the sake of a private and intimate container.
I’m not familiar with the online environment. Do I need technical skills to participate?
Actually, it’s really simple to engage in an online course! All you need is an internet connection and a computer, or a tablet (preferably with a keyboard, but that’s up to you). I also recommend that you have access to a phone for calling in. The technology we will use works best with a dedicated line instead of WiFi.
How can I be sure this material will be relevant for me?
These are foundational skills, and no matter where you are in your erotic journey, your understandings and practices can always deepen. I've found that when I allow myself to be in beginner's mind, even when I have already achieved a level of mastery, that deeper layers of meaning often unfold. And, do take a look at the curriculum as laid out above, and see if there are areas that light up for you.
I want to be very clear: this material WILL challenge you. It will help you grow out of the sexual stuckness you are currently in, and it is deep work at a core level.
How much time can I expect this course to take?
I’ve worked to create a manageable course. Each week, we’ll be in a video course session for about an hour and a half. These sessions are requisite.
I will suggest additional practice and reflection work for you to engage. Depending on you, these practices could take you an hour, or several hours—relative to the time you have and the way you work. I expect this course could take 2-3 hours a week—or as much as you’d like to give it. Of course, the more you put in, the more you’ll get out.
I’m in Indiana/Australia/Buenos Aires: can I participate?
Yes! All you need is an internet connection and a webcam!
What if I have to miss a session?
Because I stand for your results, it is crucial that you participate fully in each and every session. In fact, if you miss more than one session, you will be removed from the program, without refund. Yes, I'm that serious about it. Because emergencies happen, if you do miss a session you need to do two things: First, let me know as soon as possible, preferably before the class, that you cannot attend. Second, schedule an individual paid session with me to make up the material from that class. Classes will NOT be recorded, so that participants can truly relax.
Wow, that class time sure is late/early/not a great time for me.
Only sign up if you can completely commit to the class schedule. This is a testament as well to your commitment to your erotic self.
What's your refund policy?
There are no refunds once you have signed up for the program. This program is designed for folks who are ready to make a serious change in their erotic lives, and the financial commitment is an important component of sticking with yourself.
How will I know if it’s working?
At the beginning of the program, each participant will complete a self-assessment of the current state of your erotic life. If you do the practices and exercises, you should see incremental improvement: greater capacity for closeness, a stronger connection with your own sexuality, clearer boundaries and more access to your own desire.
It does mean that some of the responsibility for success is in how you engage with the material. It's not going to work if you just sign up and think you don't actually have to do anything, engage with your own resistance, practice new things. But if you do, I believe you will begin to notice Eros more online in your life.
Additionally, you will be tracking your weekly progress in the program using an online-tracking system, where you reflect before each class on the work of the previous week.
What is the long-term benefit of this training?
You will tell me what they are for you once you complete the course. And...other participants in the Ignite! one-on-one program have reported feeling much more connected with their desire, having the skills to navigate intimacy in a new way that feels amazing, being more in their bodies, being able to be close and flirt, getting laid, moving through hard things from the past, learning to speak their desires, giving themselves permission for lust, and many other wonderful results.
I can't say for certain what your results will be as they are slightly subjective for each participant, but if you put in the time and energy, I know you will experience powerful, transformative results.
I’ve tried other programs, why will this be different for me?
Community support makes all the difference. If it's just you, sitting at your computer watching videos or reading books, when you hit a block if you are like the rest of us, you may give up. Being in compassionate, vulnerable community with others doing similar work keeps you engaged, inspired, and showing up.
This is not a canned approach, but is very much responsive to the needs of the group and the people in it. You can get more of what you need here, through the materials, the connections, relaxing into a well-held container.
What if I want to work with you one-on-one?
Fantastic! The course will be a great introduction to my guiding principles and to how I hold space as a facilitator. If you like, you will be able to continue working with me after the Ignite! container completes.