Anytime you're struggling with something, you may wish to seek professional support. It's an act of radical self-love when we seek the help we need, and choose not to stay mired in our pain. If your sexuality doesn't feel vital, and like a source of deep connection and power, it's probably time to get some support.
If your relationship is in trouble, and sex is one of the issues on the table, chances are things aren't just going to work out on their own. The patterns and behaviors that have led to the difficulty will repeat until the root cause is addressed and healed. If sex has slowed or stopped in your relationship, it's going to take some doing to get it back online. Also, none of us learned in school how to communicate very efficiently; without exception, every couple I work with faces challenges in how to communicate effectively and compassionately.
How do I find the right sex therapist for me?
Like any relationship, rapport and compatibility are essential. It may take some time to find the right person to work with. You should feel comfortable and safe with whomever you choose. Schedule a free "get-aquainted" callso that we can determine our ability to work together. The best way to get a sense of our fit is to schedule this call.
I am not for everyone. My style is candid, compassionate and outside-the-box. If I don't feel like I can help you, I will offer referrals to other professionals who could better serve you. If you don't feel like I am your person, I will help you find another sex therapy practitioner.
What makes sex therapy successful?
Your commitment to your own personal growth and healing is what makes somatic sex therapy successful. You get as much out as you put in. It’s important to take time between sessions to think about the work that you’re doing, because it is hard work and it takes courage. You'll know it's successful when you feel good about your sexuality, and your sex life is healthy and thriving.
What is Somatic Sex Therapy? What is Sexological Bodywork?
Somatic Sex Therapyengages you and your body right there in session. You learn and explore through listening to the wisdom of your own body. This modality is a blend of talking and somatic awareness activities that address sexual wellness holistically.
Learning happens over time. Creating initial change is easier than sustaining it long-term. Because I support my clients in making change that sticks, I work with you over a period of time, months instead of weeks. The amount of time someone is in therapy varies from person to person – it all depends on the effort the person puts into the process and what particular goals they have.
I hold a strong container for you to get the results you want. For that reason, after an initial session to ensure that we are a good fit, I work with clients weekly for twelve weeks. I find this is a good initial container, and you will get movement with that level of frequency and commitment.
I work with many clients for longer than three months, but that is where we begin.
What will happen during my sessions?
In our first meeting, we will talk about why you have decided to come in for sex coaching and what your goals are for our time together. I will ask you questions about your history and how the issue you are experiencing is impacting your life. For many people, this initial conversation is very powerful, as it's the first time they've told their story out loud. At the end of the session, we will decide if it feels right to move forward together.
When we continue to work together, each session will be slightly different. We will always talk about where you are right now in terms of your sexuality, and what's come been coming up. We'll reflect on the skills you've been practicing, and revisit your goals each session. Often, we'll practice right there in the session, using exercises designed to explore challenging areas like boundaries, or getting out of your head.
Once we feel comfortable with each other, we may decide that bodywork is appropriate for your learning process. While I have many resources and tools to share, you always have the last word in how we spend our time together.
How much does therapy cost?
As with anything of value, somatic sex therapy involves a commitment of your time and financial resources. Learning happens over time; there is no magic pill I can give you (though I would if I could) that will automatically solve all of your problems. Transforming your sex life into what you want takes practice and support.
I'm happy to discuss my rates in our "get-acquainted" call and tell you more about how I work. My rates are comparable to other therapists. Because I'm an educator, I understand how learning happens over time. I choose to work with clients who are committed to a process of change. That means that I work incredibly hard for you, and stand in service to your erotic liberation. I expect that you will work hard as well. On our call, we will schedule a time for you to come in. We will have between 1-3 initial full-fee sessions to assure our fit before I ask you for a weekly three-month commitment.
I offer need-based financial assistance to clients, and maintain three reduced-fee slots. Reduced fee sessions are available for a 6-month period of time. I almost always have a waiting list for these slots. If you find the cost of this work prohibitive, we can have an honest conversation about your access to resources and your needs. I will ask you to fill out this form disclosing some of your financial information. I also have other ways you can access my work, including free resources I've created, a blog, a podcast, and online and in-person classes which are generally more economical.
I do not accept insurance at this time. I am happy to provide you with invoices for your sessions if needed.
What do I need to know about your practice?
Can I book an appointment online? The way the process works is that we have an initial call, to determine whether we both would like to work together. At the time of that call, I'll share with you information about how my practice works, my rates, and we'll book our first appointment.
Is my information kept confidential? Absolutely. Anything you discuss with me in somatic sex therapy / coaching / Sexological Bodywork sessions will be completely confidential. Additionally, I adhere to professional standards of confidentiality.
Can I bring my partner to my somatic sex therapy sessions sometimes? Yes. We'll agree about when that is appropriate. It is often very beneficial for your partner to come to several sex therapy sessions.
Do you offer phone or Skype sex therapy sessions to folks not in SF? Yes. Many of my clients are phone coaching clients, who live in places outside of San Francisco where sex coaching services like I offer are not widely available. I use a technology called Zoom, which is like skype but better. One cool thing about it is it can record your sessions, if you want. I also am willing to work in a "mixed" format, where some of our sessions are in person, and for others we connect through technology.
What is your cancellation policy? I have a strict 48 hour cancellation policy. Should you need to cancel your appointment, kindly give me 48 hours minimum notice. If you cancel a session with less than 48 hours notice, you are responsible for the cost of your session. If you are more than 15 minutes late for your session without communication, the session is cancelled and you are responsible for the full fee of your session.
How long do sessions last? I work in 60 or 75- minute sessions.
By contacting me for an appointment, you agree to and understand the terms above. Disclaimer: Somatic Sex Therapy, Sex Coaching and Sexological Bodywork is not psychotherapy or medical treatment. We do not dispense psychological or medical diagnosis, advice, or services. Pavini Moray is not a massage therapist or MFT. SB577: Complementary healing arts such as Somatic Sex Therapy and Sexological Bodywork do not require licensing by the state of California. With reference to California Penal Code section 647(b) and CALCRIM Nos. 1153 to 1155,the services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either(1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration.